Every parent going through a divorce wonders how their child will cope with it. Parents have to learn how to adjust to divorce first, but they also need to help their children go through the adjustment stage as well. There are some effective ways to help your children transition through the divorce. Below are four ways you can start helping your children adjust and cope with your divorce.
Constantly Communicate With Your Child
It is extremely important that you talk about the divorce with your child. Let them know what is going on by giving them the amount of information you feel they will understand. Talk in a calm tone without sounding angry and bitter toward your ex. For example, if you are having problems agreeing on some of the details of the divorce, you can tell your child, “Your mom and I are struggling agreeing on some important things. Because of this, we have a divorce lawyer Monterey helping us mediate so that we can reach a fair decision. We both love you, and we both want you to be happy. The divorce lawyer Monterey will help us make sure this happens.” This tells your child enough about what is happening, but does put blame on anyone. The child will draw their own conclusions from the information you give them, so you want to give them the right information and let them form their own conclusions.
Reassure Your Child That You Love Him or Her
Most parents worry that their child will feel they are the cause of the divorce. Let your child know that it is not their fault at all and that you love them. Every time a complication comes up regarding the divorce, reassure your child that you both love him and that this is not his fault. Ask your child direct questions so you know what they are wondering or thinking. Your child needs constant reassurance of your love during this transition time.
Allow Your Child Time to Grieve
Your child needs to show their emotions. Like you, your child will have to grieve over the divorce. Let your child talk about their feelings and tell you why they are sad. Let them know that it is okay to feel sad and that you will work through it with him or her. If your son or daughter feels angry, talk to them about those feelings, and let them know it is normal to feel that way.
Have a Good Child Visitation Schedule
The child visitation schedule will determine when the child sees their parents until they reach the age of 18. Coming up with a good custody agreement that gives the children a chance to see both parents as often as possible is best. Both parents should make an attempt to attend various events of the child such as a piano recital or baseball game. This will help your child feel loved.
Many children go through divorces with their parents, and they all make it through. If you are proactive as a parent, you can help your child continue leading a happy life.