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The first time I saw extreme ironing I spat water all over my keyboard. It wasn’t one of those satisfying I’m-going-to-die laughing spits either. It was a bewildered one.
You see, I hate ironing. I hate everything to do with it. Even holding an iron is out of the question. The thought of turning it into a dangerous sport was way too much for me.
For those who are unaware of extreme ironing is ironing, but for nutters. You take your board and your iron and you go and do it on a mountain. Or when you’re skydiving. It’s the unholy offspring of too much time and wanting attention.
I guess the idea of turning a menial household task into something epic is admirable but I’m not convinced. If you’re on a mountain or you’re skydiving, just enjoy those really amazing things for what they are. If you’re doing something else just to tag it on Facebook you should be slapped in the face.
Surely there’s a more interesting and appropriate activity that can be turned into an extreme sport. Extreme picnicking, for example.
Here are the reasons why it’s a better option:
1) Eating is necessary for survival
You can’t live without food. Wherever you are, you’re going to need some sustenance at some point. This is where extreme picnicking and extreme ironing part ways. You see, extreme ironing is doing something for the sake of it, whereas extreme picnicking is just a necessary activity in a cool situation. If you’re at the bottom of the ocean, you might need to fend off sharks. If you’re at the summit of Everest, fair enough, eat up. You’re going to need your strength to get down again.
2) It involves food
With the exception of post-night out kebabs, any situation with food is a good time. It’s part of human nature to look forward to it and make it special. It means we’re alive and we have the means to eat. Extreme picnicking is ok because it involves food, period. Plus most people don’t post pictures of them eating on Facebook because they want people to know how skinny they are, so it doesn’t suffer from that disease yet.
3) Hilarious situations can ensue
Try eating anything in a gale-force wind and you’ll see what I mean. Try eating a cake on a mountain and I can only imagine that the results are magnified. There will be more pies in faces than a Beastie Boys video.
So there you have it. Why extreme picnicking has got extreme ironing beat hands down. For the benefit of mankind however, I think it might be useful to stop all of this nonsense before some smartarse develops extreme defecating, which they will.
Do you think extreme picnicking is the new extreme ironing?