Most of us wish that we were more attractive, and there’s probably not a single person on Earth who wouldn’t change at least one thing about their appearance. Even Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz who are fawned over by pretty much the entire population can probably find fault in their own looks and would change something about themselves if they could (with Tom it’s almost certainly going to be the height thing…). The assumption of course is that being better looking makes life easier – that you will be more likely to get promotions, that you’ll have more career options open to you, that you’ll feel better about yourself and generally enjoy greater confidence.
When it really comes down to it though, the main reason that most of us want to be more attractive is so that we can attract more members of the opposite sex, and the belief is that if we were born looking incredibly hot (errm, or grew up to be incredibly hot rather…), that we would find it much easier to land an incredibly hot boyfriend or girlfriend.
The good news though is that it’s really not that simple and that being good looking is really only one part of attracting members of the opposite sex. Here we will look at how you can enjoy more romantic success – even if you look more like Woody Allen than Brad Pitt.
Confidence and Status
When we choose our partners, one of the things that influence our decision most are the social signals that tell us whether that person is generally considered to be attractive by the wider population. In other words, we want the people that everyone else wants, and if you have an air of confidence and act like you’re a great catch then you can get them to believe that.
Pick up artists rely on this fact in many of their techniques. For instance, they practice using ‘negs’, which are playful put-downs, because that way they appear less desperate to get with the person they’re talking to and at the same time cause them to lower their estimation of their own social standing. With ‘peacocking’ these pick up artists will wear outlandish items of clothes because it shows confidence and the assumption is that they must have a high social rank to be able to get away with such out-there behavior and fashion. One of the reasons that light touching is so powerful when flirting is because we rate people who get the last touch in interaction as being the more dominant.
In short, though, doing anything you can to come across as confident and desirable will help others you talk to want you more too. If you believe it, or at least act as you believe it, then it can rub off on others.
You can also make yourself more attractive by thinking carefully about what you want to wear and how you are going to present yourself. Wearing a sharp suit for instance as a man will make you look like someone who takes time and care in their appearance (which is sexy) while wearing the right dress as a woman can help you to show off your very best assets and hide the ones you’re not so keen on. Women can also use makeup to their advantage and using techniques such as contouring this can almost completely change your appearance.
You can also use a range of non-invasive cosmetic procedures to make yourself more attractive and this can work wonders as well. For instance, using veneers or teeth whitening can give you a more attractive smile that will look like it belongs on the red carpet, while tanning and a great hairdo can also help you to work the looks you’ve got.
Dating online is a fantastic tool to use if you aren’t someone who gets a lot of attention in bars. When you date online, your looks take a back seat to your personality and this gives you a great chance to get to know someone and to put your best foot forward.
To get lots of people to contact you when using online dating, make sure your profile invites people to comment by asking questions or inviting people to make comments. Writing something like ‘I’m looking for a great restaurant in the area’ for instance can be a great way to encourage people to get in touch and give them something to talk about when they do.