Contrary to popular belief, a divorce doesn’t have to be filled with drama. While there are certainly situations that can bring hostilities to the surface, not every divorce needs to consist of theatrics, backstabbing and double-crossing. If you and your soon-to-be ex aren’t currently at war with each other, there’s no need to bring out the big guns. Here are five ways that you can minimize the theatrics during your divorce:
1.Ask for What You Want
Your divorce lawyer will undoubtedly advise you to try to split property with your spouse amicably. If you’re not the type of person who is comfortable speaking up for themselves, now is the time to take a deep breath and start talking. Advice from Katz & Phillips divorce attorneys is that if there are things that you want, find your voice and ask for them. If you don’t speak up for yourself, you may quickly find your anxiety levels building and your anger brewing. Remember that your spouse was never a mind reader, and he or she certainly isn’t one now. If you sit by while your favorite china is packed up and taken away, you have no one to blame but yourself.
2.Don’t Make Threats
There is rarely a need to be aggressive during a divorce. While some divorces require a more forceful approach, yours probably doesn’t. You’re bound to experience a wide range of feelings as your divorce proceeds. Never say things in a fit of anger, rage or jealousy. If you are feeling particularly worked up and have a meeting with your spouse scheduled, try to move the meeting to another day. You should never negotiate with your spouse when you aren’t feeling calm and patient.
3.Hire a Good Lawyer
Finding a divorce lawyer won’t be difficult, but finding the right one for you may pose a challenge. When searching for a lawyer, look for one who can represent you fairly, without turning your divorce into a game for their own entertainment. Most attorneys have nothing but your best interests at heart, and they will work for you in a manner that you are comfortable with. There are a handful of attorneys who look at divorce as a game to be won, and these attorneys will do nothing but create drama where there is none.
4.Keep it Real
There are bound to be instances during your divorce where you question your feelings and your decision. Do your best to avoid sending your spouse mixed messages. It’s not fair to the other person in the relationship to be strung along. If you tell your spouse that you want a divorce, stick to your decision. Never call your spouse when you’re feeling lonely and uncomfortable at the prospect of moving forward with your life. Remember that you both decided to divorce for a reason; accept the fact that you may change your mind from day-to-day, and try to roll with your feelings.
Whether you surround yourself with supportive friends or visit a professional counselor, seek help when you need it. By talking about your thoughts, feelings and moods, you’re less likely to create drama with your spouse where there is none.
Your divorce doesn’t have to contain more drama than a Broadway show. By accepting the fact that your feelings will fluctuate from day-to-day, being strong enough to speak up for yourself, and hiring the right attorney, you can ensure that your divorce will be amicable as it can be.