Most divorces in the UK are initiated on grounds of unreasonable behaviour or adultery. Either of these reasons can cause considerable emotional distress long after divorce proceedings have been finalised. Unreasonable behaviour may take the form of domestic violence, verbal abuse or alcoholism, all of which can cause physical and mental scars, while extramarital affairs can be equally devastating. How exactly are people expected to cope with life after divorce? Read on for several self-care tips.
An abusive, absent or unfaithful partner can shatter a person’s confidence. Especially when affecting relationships that involved a great deal of emotional and financial dependency, divorce can be a game-changer for those who have forgotten how to be alone, but it should not be seen as the end. Divorce can be a positive, liberating experience.
Identifying the need to accept and embrace freedom is not necessarily the first step to coping with divorce, but it is certainly among the most important. Residual feelings of love, affection and desire for a former partner can be as powerful as feelings of hate, anger and regret, but harbouring such strong emotions for an extended period after divorce can be harmful and unhealthy. Divorcees should appreciate and enjoy their freedom as part of the healing process.
Though a more positive response to divorce is recommended, there is nothing wrong with accepting and embracing the emotional consequences of a break-up, provided of course that this does not last forever. Feelings of hate, anger, love, pity, regret, frustration and abandonment are normal. Nobody should exclude these feelings completely, as denial rarely helps people overcome divorce.
Divorcees should accept that separation is unpleasant. There is no need to wear a brave face for anyone other than children, so repressing feelings should be limited. There is nothing wrong with crying. Moments of anger are perfectly normal. Bouts of depression should be expected. In time, the intensity of these feelings reduces, enabling divorcees to view the future with a sense of anticipation and optimism.
Seek Professional Guidance
Family law solicitors can provide mediation services for divorcing couples. During this process, steps should be outlined to cope with or put an end to conflict. Resolving emotional problems through conciliation or counselling is not intended to repair a marriage, though this is obviously desirable, but it can help to pave the way for a less acrimonious separation. Reducing hostility at an early stage can limit the torment endured by either spouse after divorce. Mediation is especially important when parents are fighting over the custody of children.
Seek Solace from Friends and Family
Nobody should have to suffer in silence. Friends and family should be on hand to help a person through divorce. They should also be available long after this time, providing continued support and encouragement. Some people need a shoulder to cry on, while others need to be dragged out of depression. Friends and family are able to remind an individual that there is more to life and that moving on is possible.
Although some people do prefer to deal with divorce alone, most need the help and support of others. Handling divorce in isolation can consolidate negative feelings such as sadness, frustration, loneliness and distrust. Confidence tends to suffer as a result, as does concentration at work. To cope with divorce, it is sensible to reach out to others for support.
This articles was contributed by Lloyd on behalf of Switalskis.