Male grooming isn’t for sissies: shaving, waxing, and cleaning up the superfluous fur is a serious business, and not for the faint of heart. The ladies swoon at Beckham’s glistening pecs not because of their chiselled brilliance in ode to gods Greek, but because they are noticeably hair-free. And to go hair-free- like wearing pink or ordering quiche- takes a real man.
Chest hair and back fluff, fuzzy ball sacks and downy necks; sometimes a man needs a haircut in more places than one. Every man who has ever taken his razor into the shower has contemplated shearing off more than just his chin stubble- but that’s just the thing. Shaving your arse hair in the heat of the moment is all fun and games until three days later you’re scratching your crack down the supermarket aisle, re-growth giving you an unwanted rash and chafing all the way home.
When women spend increasing amounts of money and time keeping all the necessary fresh, clean and hair-free, it wouldn’t hurt for men to think about a token gesture of reciprocation in that department too. There’s a mountain of options from which to choose: your local pharmacy stocks hair removal creams and tweezers, back, sack and crack waxes are practically the norm, and at the top end of the scale is laser treatment. And even that’s not as scary as you might think.
(Not, of course, that as the pinnacle of masculinity that you epitomise you actually have any fear. Ahem.)
Courthouse Clinics has seen a marked ride in the number of men seeking council on permanent hair removal. With men traditionally having coarser, thicker hairs, often the best treatment is the one least explored: laser hair removal.
Over the course of six to eight sessions, laser hair removal works by quickly and gently heating the targeted hair from the root, followed by a cooling mechanism to reduces the risk of burning and discomfort. The darker the hair, the better it works. Multiple treatments can prolong results, with only a little regrowth possible. Laser hair removal is as close to permanent as it gets, lads.
It’s relatively pain-free and totally safe. There’s no risk of burning or scarring but a little hypo- or hyper-pigmentation (lightening or darkening) of the skin is possible. Immediately following the procedure there might be a little redness or itching- but it’s mild. Pop an ibroprofen and everything will return to normal within a few days.
That basically means that there is zero excuse for rocking the man fur this winter. Blokes, let’s face it, the time is now: get gardening.
(Dr Patrick Bowler is co-founder of the British Association of Cosmetic Doctors and has featured on TV programs such as 10 Years Younger. His company, Court House Clinics, specialises in laser hair removal.)