Connect with us


Boy Mo? Girl Mo? How to Grow or Fake a Moustache



To Mo or not to Mo? That isn’t even a question. Of course, you’re Mo-ing. One man went to Mo and so should you.

Movember is a charming annual awareness mission that exists to bring about support for men with testicular and prostate cancer. The aim of the game is to get talking about these often-whispered types of cancer, and hopefully raise money for the cause by demanding cash from people for growing a beard you always wanted anyway. It’s genius really.

You could of course pipe up with “But I can’t grow facial hair” or “I’m a girl” but do you know what? You’re just being a wimp. There’s simply no excuse for not sporting a dazzling mustache this Movember.

 To grow:

 You need to accept right now that you’re not going to look good for the whole of this project. You may in fact look like a pubescent schoolboy for quite a few weeks. Patchy, itchy facial hair is pretty much a given in the early days of Movember but the thing to remember is this: no one cares and everyone will respect you for being a complete legend.

Get your hands on some of those vitamins girls take for their hair, skin, and nails. You know…the girl things. Seriously though, vitamin A is a good ’un for any serious Mo-athlete. See if they’re still laughing when your mustache is rippling softly in the breeze.

As your Mo fills out, think about the kind of spirit you want to embody. Are you a Hulk Hogan or a Clark Gable? A Hercule Poirot or a Salvador Dali? There’s a whole world of macho mustache magic out there for you to honor.

 To fake:

 If you are not blessed with luxuriantly flowing facial hair, there is no need to sulk and bow out for the month. There are some special ways that you can fool people into thinking you’re as hirsute as Gimli’s wife. And that’s pretty impressive.

First, there are more fake mustaches on eBay than fake watches. You can pick your perfect Mo with no fuss and no daunting growing-in period. Simply stick it on and then swagger about, glancing pityingly at those less fortunate in the mustache region.

Another option is to draw on a different exciting style every day. Imagine the options! A classic handlebar one day, a glittery goatee the next. You will be the envy of all the blokes still trying to force out a scrappy beard on Day 22.

It’s really not difficult to support this great awareness cause. You will be surrounded by similarly distressed or proudly mustached fellow Mo Bros, so let loose and celebrate the one time of the year that you won’t be moaned at by your girlfriend or ostracised for being a bearded lady. So, my little mustache lovers: go get Motivated!

Do you know anyone doing something incredible for Movember? I’d love to hear about it, so let the commenting commence.