Generally speaking, when people get old, they don’t want to accept help from those who love them. If you are facing a situation like this, and your parents or grandparents refuse to let you help them, you should understand the reasons of this resistance in order to find a way to give them the support they need.
- Try to comprehend why your loved ones won’t accept your help
Our loved ones have the tendency to reject the help we’re willing to give them when they grow old. However, the situation varies from individual to individual. Still, the most frequent reasons are represented by arrogance, fright, denial, remorse, and fury. Your parents probably have the impression that they are still able to look out for themselves, and that they don’t need your help.
The people we love most in this life are our parents, and they’re not interested in becoming a burden for you; sometimes, they are afraid that they may lose their independence and they won’t admit that after a certain age they need help. Seniors deny help because of the fury they feel. They generally tend to be annoyed because they no longer have the possibility to do things as they’re used to. No matter what causes this, it is our duty to have compassion for them, and be as patient as possible.
- How should you handle this resistance?
To start with, note that understanding the elderly is a vital aspect. Even though your parents won’t accept your help, you shouldn’t feel discouraged. A great idea would be to ask other members of your family to help you reduce tension. Plus, you should also know that you have to find the right time to discuss with them, which means that you have to do this when they are in a good mood.
Anyway, if you want to get positive results, you need to understand that the involvement has to be sympathetic and helpful. Bear in mind that your elderly member can’t have the impression that you are forcing him/her to do something. The ambiance has to be jovial and light. Begin the discussion by talking about the things that your parent is still able to perform on his/her own. After this, you should discuss about the aspects where he/she needs assistance. With a bit of luck, this will make your parents understand that they need support, and together you’ll reach an agreement.
- Discuss about assisted or independent living
Assisted living is a good solution for elderly individuals who wish to preserve some of their independence while benefiting from personal and medical assistance. This sort of community provides an environment that will make seniors feel like home. Your parent will have at his/her disposal facilities like personal assistance, housekeeping, group and entertaining activities, supervision of medication, laundry, as well as round-the-clock emergency care.
- Take their preferences into consideration
It’s not easy to see your loved ones impaired or unable to live on their own. It becomes even harder when they don’t want to accept they’re old and deny your help. But with patience and sympathy, you can solve this problem. Try to take into consideration their opinions and thoughts, and make them feel that it truly matters to you what happens to them. See if they have any preferences related to the person that will take care of them, and listen to their wishes.
Don’t give up immediately. Try over and over again until you manage to convince them that you only want what’s best for them. If your parents have the chance to reflect on the situation for a while, they might become more approachable later.
Last but not, you should always bear in mind that nobody lives forever. Dealing with resistance in older people is something pretty common. The fear of not being able to move, the fear of dealing with illness and ultimately dying, make seniors go through a denial phase. Caring for them in a sympathetic way and understanding them is one of the best ways to help them understand they’re not alone. In the end, accepting our faiths is what makes us humans, not to mention that we knew from the very beginning that we were only entitled to live one life on Earth.