Post-Divorce Life: How To Manage
Divorcing your partner can have a profound effect on all areas of your life. Whilst it can provide a sense of relief that a failing marriage is finally over, there are many adjustments that need to be made afterwards, particularly when there are children involved. Apart from the arrangements regarding visitation and childcare, there are a number of other issues that need to be addressed.
Except for the super-rich, who have so much money that a separation has little discernible effect, most people will have to face a reduction in their usual standard of living. It is often the person who is responsible for the day-to-day care of the children that suffers the greatest financial change, with many people experiencing real difficulties. With a little forethought and a rethink as to what’s truly important, many of these difficulties can be overcome.
Focus on What Matters
The first thing to do is to have a think about what really matters. Whilst a family holiday in the sun may have been important during the marriage, it may not be possible after the divorce. What’s important in this instance is not where the holiday is taken, but the time together as a family. Staycations can be just as good for relaxation and time together and a positive attitude will help to make any holiday a success. Camping, for example, can be a cheap option that can be great fun too.
Your shopping budget can also be reassessed. Much is made of the quality of supermarket own brands and there are some substantial savings to be made with a simple switch away from the big names. Cooking from scratch can also save money and can provide an excellent way to have some quality family time. Children of all ages can get involved with the cooking and you’ll be helping to teach them skills that will stand them in good stead when they are older. There are plenty of cookbooks that are designed for those on a limited budget, so you can provide wholesome, tasty meals at a fraction of the cost of the junk food and ready meals that provide the staple diet in some families.
There are plenty of divorce and separation guides available that can give further hints and tips as to how to minimise the impact of any changes.
Be Honest with the Children
Many parents feel that they are somehow letting their children down if they fail to maintain the standard of living that they are used to. Nothing could be further from the truth. Children are generally very adaptable and if you are honest with them about the need to make a few changes and if you maintain a positive attitude, you will often be surprised at how they rise to the challenge. Older children can have a more detailed explanation as to why belts need to be tightened, but you should always avoid placing the blame on the absent parent. Younger kids only need simple explanations and as long as they still feel loved and secure, they will be quickly settle into any new routines.
As long as you provide your children with unconditional love and are patient with them whilst they adjust, the changes involved in your new way of life needn’t be a negative experience.
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This article was contributed by Lloyd on behalf of Switalskis Solicitors.