How to Turn Your Divorce into a Positive Thing for Dating

in Mental Health by


Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce is difficult.

After all, you have just come out of a long term relationship and even if the divorce itself was amicable, do you really want to jump back into finding a partner straight away? Many people find it incredibly hard to start dating again as they miss their ex-partner or simply don’t have the confidence. In fact, the rules of dating change so quickly that many divorcees are out of touch over how to even ask someone on a date let alone start a new relationship.

Luckily a divorce doesn’t necessarily need to be a bad thing when it comes to dating again. You might think that married dating can reduce your chances but the opposite can actually be true.

You Probably Won’t Take Rejection as Bad

Getting rejected on the dating scene is tough. I mean, you put the effort into chatting someone up either in person or online and then you go through the trouble of going on a date or maybe even several times simply to get told that it isn’t going anywhere. This is normal and it can take a few dates sometimes to figure out if someone is right for you however rejection can be hard to stomach.

After being divorced you have faced one of the ultimate rejections (providing that it wasn’t your idea to get divorced in the first place!) and dealing with being snubbed by someone you barely know is much easier. Even if you were the one that asked for a divorce you will have a much better outlook on relationships and life and dealing with the ups and downs of dating won’t seem as difficult as it did before. Your heart can be hardened by getting divorced and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it means you will be better equipped to handle rejection which is a common part of the dating scene.

You Will Be Much More Mature

The bottom line is that women don’t like immature guys when they get to a certain age. For most people being married and in a long term relationship makes them grow up because you need to think about someone else rather than just focusing on yourself. For a divorcee this can be used to great effect when it comes to getting back into dating again.

You will be more likely to pay attention to the things that actually matter when you start to date someone rather than picking silly arguments or getting annoyed over something that isn’t really a big deal. Immature people have a tendency to overreact to certain situations, be crippled with paranoia and insecurity and this doesn’t bode well for dating someone new. A divorce is a pretty stressful thing to go through and it really does change your whole outlook on life and how you approach other people. You start to appreciate things better and you will have a much more mature viewpoint on relationships in general which can only be beneficial.

You Won’t Make the Same Mistakes Again

So, your marriage didn’t work out and maybe you are as much to blame as the other person. The good news is that a divorce can allow you to see the error of your ways and make steps to correct them. Instead of seeing a divorce as a wholly bad thing you should instead look at it as learning curve and something that millions of people go through every single year.

Don’t try and blame everything on the other person because that is rarely the reason why the divorce happened. Look at yourself and try to figure out what went wrong and why your marriage ended as it did. While this means criticising yourself and your actions it also means that you get the chances to learn from your mistakes and ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. No-one wants to go through one divorce let alone two and while tentatively dating again doesn’t mean you will be getting married anytime soon it should mean that you don’t make the same mistakes that you did before.

Turning a Divorce into a Positive Thing for Dating

Getting divorced can come with a certain stigma attached to it however that doesn’t mean that you can’t get back into the dating scene.

In fact, a divorce can be a learning curve that results in a much happier and more successful relationship after you have split from your ex-partner. Remember that diving straight back into going on dates and meeting new people doesn’t always result in a positive outcome however if you go about your divorce the right way and learn from the experience then you will be in a much better place to start dating again.