Men are complicated creatures. They are constantly under pressure from adverts and men’s mags to ‘perform’ and conform to certain behavioural patterns and aesthetics to appeal to their partners. Between having to deal with day to day stresses and strains; they’ll often be battling the same sort of inadequacies and insecurities as ladies do- they’re just usually much less vocal about it.
A relationship works two ways. We can’t expect our partners to be in tune with what we want without communication. Maintaining a healthy relationship relies on the common ground you establish together. Here are a few little tips and tricks that you can utilise to help him de-stress; unwind, and create the sort of explosive passion you can both benefit from!
This seems obvious; but don’t limit your physical contact to the bedroom. He needs to feel desired in the same way that you do. Hold his hand as you walk together. Brush his arm when you lean past him. Kiss him before he leaves for work, and again when he gets back. Don’t go overboard and glue yourself around his waist; but just a few lingering touches a day will remind him that you’re paying him attention, and that close contact will mean that his thoughts are never too far from you either.
Keep that spontaneity involved in your love life. Don’t get caught up in routine or your passion will quickly turn to boredom. Lose those inhibitions and don’t freak out if you break a vase or spill a pot of coffee in the throes of passion – nothing kills the mood like reaching for the carpet cleaner whilst he’s trying to show you how attractive he finds you!
Surprise, surprise; the way to his heart really is through his stomach!
Dr Alan Hirsch, a neurological doctor at the Chicago-based Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, has discovered that the smell of certain foods can illicit a sexual response in both men and women.
In a study of 25 medical students he discovered that the sexiest smells were cinnamon buns, pumpkin pie and lavender; and black liquorice donuts. Maybe ditch that Dior perfume and stick a fresh apple pie in the oven instead!
Everyone has likes and dislikes when it comes to what they put in their mouth in any context! There is a very strong relationship between love, sex and food as they are part of the foundation of human nature. Some foods are considered aphrodisiacs – chocolate was banned by religious leaders in the 1600s for consumption amongst nuns and monks, such was the potency of the supposed amorous effect it had!
Experiment with tastes and textures before and during your intimate times together; you’ll find that some foods work better than others!
Listen to one another. Pay attention to what he says and show an interest in what he tells you; even if the subject doesn’t interest you. Don’t dismiss a suggestion he makes without having an active discussion about it first.
Some couples are reluctant to talk about ways in which they’d like to experiment in the bedroom. This shouldn’t be a taboo subject and the first step towards a successful experiment is deliberation. If he raises a suggestion that you’re uncomfortable with, talk it through and maybe come to a compromise. A good way to get started in exploring the sexy side of your relationship is to invest in some sex toys for couples and see where you go from there.
Make an effort to appeal to him physically. This is not just for his benefit; not only does maintaining a healthy body hugely beneficial for you but it’s something he’s sure to respond to. Taking pride in your own appearance will help you to exude a comfort and confidence that will prove both attractive and contagious. This is not to say you have to doll yourself up like a cover girl. Every woman has her own unique beauty. Use yours!
Make eye contact that’ll catch him off guard and let him know that you find him irresistible. This is a great trick whilst you’re out in public that you can wind him up with during the day! Catch his eye and flash him a naughty smile over the top of your shopping trolley or at the bar; and as soon as you’re alone in private, make the most of your time together.
Do you have any sexy psychological tips to boost your sex life? Share your thoughts below.
Gavin Harvey is a personal trainer and blogger for Adult Toys UK. He has a passion for travel and loves to take romantic breaks with his partner whenever the possibility arises.