Do you argue a lot with your significant other? Before use speak, think about what you’re going to say. Many times couples get into arguments because they let their emotions get the best of them. Maybe your partner says something and it hit a nerve and then all of a sudden you’re becoming defensive and you are no longer thinking straight. This is common in many arguments; instead ask yourself these questions before you speak.
Am I being truthful?
Ask yourself if what you have to say comes from the heart? Are you really telling the truth? Many people get caught up in the energy of arguments and they will fight and say things that they don’t mean. They will also say things that are not honest or sincere.
They say the truth hurts, but when you’re arguing with someone the words that you throw around can hurt even more. Respect your relationship and your partnership and always be honest.
Am I talking just to be heard?
In relationships, sometimes we don’t feel heard so we talk to and repeat the same story over and over. This can add to an already dramatic situation.
If this feels familiar then ask yourself if it’s more important to talk or to be silent?
Sometimes people are insecure with the silence, but give yourself space to be quiet sometimes the judgments will release and loving intentions can come in.
Am I in the present?
When we argue, we are most often more in the past or the future. Sometimes we fight about what happened before the moments we are in, or we go to the future and worry by projecting about what could or what couldn’t be.
Is this fun and am I happy?
If you argue more then you don’t in a relationship, maybe that is a sign. Healthy couples can bounce back quickly after arguments and they don’t often argue every day. Look at your relationship and the qualities of your relationship and ask yourself if it is really what you want are you happy and are you having fun.
Do you smile a lot with your partner?
Do you laugh and have fun? This is a good question to ask because if you’re not having fun then you’re not in the right relationship. Sure there are times where relationships can get heavy but sticking together is important. However, if you’re consistently feeling that there’s something missing then maybe you should look at your relationship for what it is instead of what it could be. Take a step back if you’re not smiling and enjoying life then ask yourself why.
For more health advice visit TenderCare Dental, a dentist in Northwest Portland. Shannon Kaiser is a relationship writer and blogger.